- Doucheddie: venti nonfat cappuccino
- Me: do you want any breakfast with that? Like a bagel or something?
- Doucheddie: do I look like I eat bagels?
- Inner monologue: you look like you fuck bagels.
A few weeks ago I traded in some clothes for cash at Plato’s closet and my sister says “well, you probably didn’t get much. They’re pretty stingy.”
Actually I made $40 off of 14 items, which is more than I probably would have made at a yard sale. And my sister was shocked because I made that much and they only rejected one of my items.
“How did you get so much?”
1. Really REALLY sort through your clothes. I had a lot to get rid of.
2. REALLY REALLY SORT IT. There are piles you’ll end up with: one that you like because its fashion forward, but you’ve never had the opportunity to wear, and one that needs to go in the trash because the clothes are falling apart, have stains, or are too stretched out, etc. and the last should be your keep pile.
3. Trash the trash pile. Don’t beat yourself up over it. If its dead, it’s dead. Don’t try to convince yourself to donate it, because you’re a douche if you’re trying to sell good clothes and give shitty ones to poor people. Shame on you. If they are trash, TRASH THEM.
4. Wash your sell pile. If they’ve been sitting for a while, there’s a good chance they’ve gotten dusty or lost shape. Wash them, and dry them so they get some body back and smell nice. Fold them neatly to prepare them for transport; you can sort them into categories if you want (tops, pants, etc) and this will help the staff sorting to go faster and they will appreciate it!
5. Dress nice to drop off. It sounds really shallow, but if you dress cute, then the staff gets excited about your stuff and how they can best sell it. If you come in pajamas, un showered you look like you robbed a laundromat, and the staff is iffy about your stuff. Yes, this sounds really shallow, but first impressions are all about perception: in this case we’ll call it charisma.
6. Don’t expect to get what YOU paid for it. My sister was very upset that they wouldn’t take a Brighton bracelet for what she got it for, but there are two problems. A. Consider the demographic of the store: is it geared toward younger customers and you’re trying to sell more “mature” items? They either won’t take them, or won’t give you much. B. You’ve had your stuff for a while, and unless its now vintage or antique it is currently DECREASING in value, for no other reason than YOUR SHITS OUT OF SEASON. Also make your clothes translate to what’s in now (i.e. winter/fall in winter/fall).
7. ASK why certain items got rejected so you know not to bring that type of item again and waste everyone’s time. I learned last trip that they won’t accept items that were “free gift with purchase”.
8. Don’t hover while they go over your stuff. It takes time, and you are not the only customer. It can take more than an hour sometimes, so go run some errands and let them do their job with out them feeling like you’re breathing down their necks.
-Some chick at Wegmans.
Yeah, you’re a real freak lady, along with like every other person on the planet with access to cereal.